Go to Bed With Lake Bell

This chick is my #1 celebrity crush.  I have a picture of her on my phone just so when some girl asks "Who's your celebrity crush?" And I answer Lake Bell I don't have to google it for her.  Nobody knows this girl by name.

Mini Masters Needs to be a Thing

This is probably a few days late but I had to comment on it.  This absolutely needs to happen.  You know how they have the famous par 3 round on Wednesday? This needs to replace it immediately.  I can just imagine Angel Cabrera losing his absolute shit when a gorilla swats his ball away.  You know who would win this? Not me. I'm essentially always the best player on the field/court/board at all times but I absolutely suck at putt putt.  Real putting? I'm an ace.  Throw a freaking windmill in front of me and I turn into Jim Abbott.  However, I would watch pros get after this all day long.  I'm seriously sending this video in with a strongly worded letter to 2604 Washington Road Augusta, Georgia 30904-5902 as soon as I remember how to buy or use a stamp.

Teacher Reanacts Varsity Blues Sex Ed Scene

http://www.sltrib.com/sltrib/news/57822890-78/williams-teacher-course-students.html.csp 

A Weber High School teacher has been placed on paid leave after asking her students to name slang for genitalia as part of a lesson.

Teacher Ashley Williams was placed on paid leave Friday after students brought the incident to the attention of school administrators, said Nate Taggart, a Weber District spokesman. The lesson was part of the course Adult Roles and Financial Literacy, a class that offers college credit to high-schoolers through concurrent enrollment, 



Purple headed yogurt slinger.  That one has haunted me from the moment I heard it.  No idea why it bothers me so much, I think it's because I taste yogurt every time I hear it.  I'm a grown ass man, I  don't really need to be tasting anything when I hear a term for dick. Let alone when I was 13.  Just Yuck.  Good for this teacher though, you know she is probably a young buck who has seen this movie one too many times. Thought it would be a great idea to introduce Miss Davis' lesson plan.  She just forgot she was in Salt Lake City, home of the Mormon.  The same region that kicks NCAA players off their team for saying Fuck.  Probably not a good look to have Mormon kids shouting out pork sword and spurt reynolds.

John Daly's at it Again

While the golf's best were busy practicing for Next Year's Mini Masters our boy John was doing what he does best.  The tee out of the mouth thing is old news by now so my question is w hat do you think is going through this broads mind right before he swings?  It has to be the same feeling you have right before you go skydiving or do anal for the first time right? This is either going to go really well and be one hell of a story or there is going to be a tremendous amount of body fluid everywhere.

I was going to write more but after that last joke there's just nothing else to say.

Human Barbie is a Smoke Without Makeup

Obviously this chick is on another level but this brings up a larger issue.  How much hotter are snitches when they aren't caked in makeup?  There is just no need for a human being to change their appearance that much on a daily basis.  Look at dudes, what you see is what you get.  Most of the time it ain't pretty but at least you don't wake up next to a different looking human being.  In case you don't know this what this broad looks like with her makeup on:

I'm Over the MLB Replay Already

You see that picture? Earl Weaver just casually tossing out a whole umpire crew, probably on the second call of the game? Welp say goodbye because if it's one thing that is clear with this new replay system it's the fact that manager arguments are a thing of the past.   Now all we get is a manager slowly walking out to home plate while some intern in the hallway looks at the replay and gives a thumbs up or not.  They kept saying that it will speed up the game but I don't think they took into account the whole let's delay while we make sure conversation that happens every night.  Don't be surprised if they institute a rule that essentially says that if the manager leaves the dugout he has to use his challenge to negate that.  This also might be a slippery slope.  Can you imagine if this leads to the tennis technology they are talking about calling balls and strikes? How absurd would that be? next thing you know players are going to be using the Kirk Gibson Jr. 2000.




PS No offense to Wally Backman but this is still my favorite manager argument of all time:

Artie Lange Hospitalized

So Artie's in the hospital, whatever. This dude is on borrowed time as is.  My question is what asshole friend takes a picture of you in the hospital literally looking like death?  I don't even let my picture be taken if I've had Chipotle in the past week and am feeling fat.  You always see these pictures of celebs in their hospital beds looking at their worst. I can't wrap my head around who takes these. Is it some sneaky nurse? Has to be right? Because if one of my friends ever took a picture of me looking like ole Artie up there I'd wait until he was getting married and King Joffrey his ass.


PS. Beer league is a sneaky good movie